It was late in the night. Neil, Nitin and Mukesh were getting bored when they decided to go on a drive. But where? The question hung in the air.
“Can we drive to SRK’s house, Mannat,” suggested Nitin.
Neil and Mukesh gave him a disapproving look but decided to humour him anyway, considering both of them were out of ideas. Soon, they were on their way to Bandra Fort.
“I just realised,” spoke Nitin, who was riding shotgun. “Main Hoon Na is kind of like a tale from Greek mythology.”
Mukesh, in the driver’s seat, didn’t say anything. His eyes were fixed on the traffic signal, urging it to turn green. It was Neil, who replied from the backseat, “In which scene of Main Hoon Na, was Zeus not able to keep it in his pants?”
“Just think,” Nitin went on to elaborate. “SRK’s father, played by Nasiruddin Shah, was involved in an extramarital affair, just like Zeus. Kirron Kher was anguished by this, just like Hera. She left him. Born out of wedlock, SRK was a demigod. And just like it happens with any demigod, SRK was assigned a quest by Kabir Bedi, to protect his daughter.”
Mukesh took a sharp left turn and Nitin heard him curse at a car coming from the opposite direction. Displaying his sardonic smile, he asked Nitin, “What about the villain, Sunil Shetty?”
“He was an army guy who turned into a terrorist after he had a falling out with his friend, Nasiruddin Shah, SRK’s father. He’s Hades, obviously; someone who fought the Titans alongside the Olympians. Then spurned by his own, turned to the dark.”
“I knew you were an SRK fan,” replied Mukesh. “But not so much that you turned him into a demigod.”
“Being a fan is too mainstream. I am just in awe of his talent. Only SRK can pull off what he does in his movies, in a way nobody else can. He has been associated with so many plots and storylines, some of which, if I get a chance to read afresh, without ever watching the movie, I know I’ll hate it. But then he goes on screen and he makes it all work like a charm. And even though I don’t like the story, I can’t bring myself to hate him, and by extension, his movie. For instance, Kal Ho Na Ho. SRK knew he was going to die soon. And he was teaching everyone how to live. Of course, it’s easier to preach when your days are numbered. You don’t have to plan your marriage, kids, medical insurance, retirement, etc. Nothing else can go wrong apart from the one thing that has already been determined. But when I watched that movie as a kid, I was sad for many days because Aman Mathur was dead.”
“Maybe,” added Neil. “The kid version of you wished for an angel like him to come and transform your miserable life. And the adult version of you is pissed that you didn’t get one.”
“Haha, very funny,” replied Nitin. He took some time to think before saying, “What about Moahabbatein? I didn’t like that movie, even as a kid. Just to teach a lesson to his dead girlfriend’s father, SRK, as a music teacher, was playing with the careers of innocent students. Still, everyone loved that movie. Why? Because SRK worked his charm again. Who have you seen wearing a sweater that way in real life?”
“That’s why you are still single, Nitin,” replied Mukesh. “There’s more to life than just your career; falling in love, romance, and all that. And you are a writer. Why am I explaining this to you, of all people?”
Nitin didn’t say anything for some time.
“Wait…” Neil broke the silence. “Didn’t you tell us long back that you hate Moahabbatein because it was a poor rip-off of your favourite movie: Dead Poets Society?”
“And I stand by it,” replied Nitin. “OK, I’ll try from a feminine perspective.”
“You mean, your perspective,” commented Neil.
Nitin ignored him and continued, “In DDLJ, SRK behaved like an asshole to Kajol. But she falls in love with him, anyway. Come on! And everyone loves that. In Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Kajol becomes attractive to SRK once she leaves behind that tomboy look and wears a traditional sari.”
“But…” Mukesh chimed in. “Don’t you yourself say that you find women more attractive in traditional wear.”
“That’s the point I’m trying to make.” Nitin almost jumped in his seat. “SRK convinced me of that subconsciously. He’s that level of talented.”
The Arabian Sea popped into view on the right. They had reached their destination. Mukesh was finding a place to park the car. Overlooking the sea, stood a six-storey building. As is the norm, Nitin asked the other two to get a picture clicked with the building. They denied it straightforwardly. So Nitin went on his own. There were a handful of people below the building who were getting their picture clicked with the words ‘MANNAT’. Nitin asked a random stranger to do the same for him. While he posed for the picture, he wondered if he was supposed to feel anything specific at that moment. Say, if SRK came out of the door, right at that moment, what would he say to him?
When Nitin joined them on the seaside, Neil and Mukesh were smoking.
“Talking about Dil se…” he began, only to be interrupted by Mukesh. “Don’t say anything bad about that movie. I love that movie.”
“I also love that movie,” Nitin continued. “But tell me, would that movie have been so great had SRK not portrayed that obsession with a suicidal girl in such a convincing way? Not to forget, Chhaiya Chhaiya. Malaika Arora has always been a great dancer, but SRK dancing on the roof of a moving train will forever remain iconic.”
“Aren’t you done yet,” remarked Neil after finishing his cigarette.
“Wait… K3G.”
“Oh my God! Just shut up already.”
Nitin ignored the outburst and went on. “SRK was an orphan in that movie, adopted by Amitabh Bachchan, the same person who made him capable of making a grand entry by jumping out of a helicopter, in front of a mansion located supposedly somewhere around Chandini Chowk. And he ditched that father for a girl he met a few days ago, that too, over Rani Mukherjee. Watch Baghban and learn something from Salman Khan.”
“Nitin, we are leaving. It’s getting late,” said Mukesh and started walking towards the car. Neil followed him saying, “Also, we don’t want to be thrashed by SRK fans surrounding us. You can come back on your own or we’ll come to check up on you in the hospital.”
“Sorry, sorry, I’m coming too.” And the moment they were inside the car, Nitin said, “Dil To Pagal Hai – Madhuri over Karishma, seriously! Come on!”
“Nitin, I understand you are on a roll today,” said Mukesh in a serious tone. “All kidding aside, I would say just one thing. Don’t keep such mediocre goals in life. Any Tom, Dick and Harry can get a picture of himself clicked in front of Mannat. Dream bigger. Write something so good that someday SRK would want to star in the movie based on your work.”
“Woah, I didn’t see that coming,” Nitin sounded serious for a moment and then, “Just like Shilpa Shetty, when SRK threw her from the terrace in Baazigar.”
“Good one,” replied Mukesh, as they drove into the night while Nitin mulled over what he would talk about if and when he met SRK.
***
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Also read, in the same series:
LIFE AND LIES #46 | Neil Nitin Mukesh (#1)
LIFE AND LIES #57 | Neil Nitin Mukesh (#2)
LIFE AND LIES #65 | Neil Nitin Mukesh (#3)
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Original Art - 'Seeking a reason to smile.' by Duane Kirby Jensen
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