Nitin was utterly shocked when he woke up on Saturday morning with a hangover and without any recollection of what had transpired the previous night. He had been drunk before. He had lost all of his senses before. But everything always came back to him the next morning. However, that day, it didn't; complete blackout. There must have been something bizarre in that drink. Over the course of the week, though, he started remembering flashes of it and began looking for an opportunity to talk to Sandhya, sober and alone.
The weather had taken a sharp turn today. A sweltering sunny day gave way to a cloudy evening with thrashing winds. As everyone raced to the office window to watch the scene unfolding outside, Nitin saw Sandhya signalling to him by pressing two fingers to her lips. He couldn’t help but smile. She knew he loved to smoke in this weather. After all, she was his smoking partner in the office.
Together, they went downstairs, but as soon as they stepped out of the building, they felt the immense pressure of the wind literally shoving them in the opposite direction. Her hair was whipping all over her face, and he could barely keep his eyes open. Somehow, they reached their designated smoking spot, sheltered from the wind, and lit their cigarettes.
Now was as good a time as any.
“Listen... I wanted to talk to you about what happened on that Friday night we went out.”
She smiled. “So that’s why you have been acting so weird.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Yes, you have. Monosyllable replies to all my texts. Deleting texts moments after you send them. Going for a smoke without me. Should I continue?”
“Ok, fine. Just tell me if you remember anything about that night, or did you also have a blackout?”
“I remember everything.”
“Can you tell me?”
“Why? Let it be! It’s not going to help you in any way?”
“No! If you know, then I should also know. I can’t recollect exactly, but I have a feeling that I said some weird stuff to you,” Nitin looked away. “About how I felt about you.”
“Yes, you did.”
“So tell me.”
“You really want to know?”
“Yes. And don’t leave anything out. I can’t exactly explain, but there is an itch in my head that won’t be scratched until I know everything.”
“Ok, all four of us were totally out after two drinks each. Naveen, Priyanka, and I were dancing, and you were just sitting by yourself, lost in thought, looking grim. I went to check if you were okay. That is when you reached for my hand and said, ‘You know I really like you. I would be really glad if I ended up with someone like you as my life partner.’ Taken aback, I didn't know what to say, so I replied, ‘Sure, there’s someone out there for you who’s even better than me.’ But you didn't budge and went on to say, ‘I wish I were ten years older so I could be age-appropriate for you.’ You were sinking even deeper. I jokingly replied, ‘Or even better - I could have been ten years younger.’ I tried to distract you by urging you to eat the prawns you had ordered, but it had no effect on you. You went on saying repeatedly, ‘Did you know? Did you know?’”
“Woah! I am so embarrassed right now.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Is there more?”
“Yes, you went on to tell me about the first time you met me…”
“Oh, my God. No. Just stop.”
Nitin didn’t need to hear it. He remembered the first time he met her as if it were yesterday. He had recently switched jobs, and it was his first day in the office. He had already planned to ask her out after meeting her once. But by the end of the day came the revelation. His heart broke on two levels – first, she was seven years older than him; she didn’t look that old – second, she was married.
“It’s fine,” Nitin heard her say. “Everyone has such episodes at one time or another.”
“Well, in that case, you must know that...” Nitin felt a sudden burst of boldness as he said those words. “When people are intoxicated, they often express thoughts they consciously harbour when sober. I am not an exception to this rule. I apologise for what I said, but I am not sorry for what I felt. I never wanted you to know any of this. It was my burden to bear. My feelings. My problem. I fully acknowledge that you might be offended by all of this. If so, just punch me once, real hard, and I won't mind. Punch, okay? No slap. Also, not in public. Also, not in my beautiful face.”
“If I wanted to punch you,” she laughed, “I would have done so that day itself. Anyway, what was the point of discussing all this?”
“See, I have a tendency to always sort things out in my life to the last minute detail. I don't let myself indulge in distractions. And these days, somehow, through no faults of yours, you have become one for me. So, now that we have talked this out, whether you punch me or not, I am going to go back to my normal self. Do Naveen and Priyanka know about any of this?”
“No.”
“Then I sincerely hope that this will stay between just you and me.”
“What about…”
“I like you, yes. But it’s a fleeting infatuation. It’ll pass, just like this storm.”
After they returned to the office, he stood on his own by the window and looked at the trees, still thrashing around. Then he noticed his reflection in the glass.
Inside and outside, the storm was still brewing.
***
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